A Bunch of Thoughts

Sorted by: Theme: Health Care

Written Story by Grace

Back to Stories search

A Bunch of Thoughts

As I write I am realizing how hard I have tried to unconsciously forget any of those two years ever happened. Everything is back to normal and everyone is just trying to forget. I know I am. Except giving birth, I cannot recall a single event that happened, all the two years just morphed into this thing of bits and fragments of memories, I like to call it a bunch of thoughts, and a few that often stick in my mind I’ll try to write about. 

They always say whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I have grown to believe ever since Covid-19 was at its peak that that saying doesn’t actually hold any water. Because you can’t convince me the reason me and my loved ones are alive is because we were strong. I holed up in the house as the strongest; doctors, nurses and first responders sacrificed their lives for us. I have failed to see the strength in my actions, that’s why I never got the power to complain or second guess them when they advised against taking walks when I had a three-month-old baby. Because I knew what I’d done wasn’t a show of strength, it was resilience and best. But we all pushed through, I learnt that a day at a time is how you survive when the very things you love and cherish like your life and family are threatened by something you have no control over. You just hope like everything you have endured before; it will come to pass. The promise of time which is never broken.

When my job stopped and I was stuck at home pregnant, it was time I found something else to fill my time. I was raised in a middle to low-income family in Rwanda and fantasies and movies were not how food got to the table. Then here I was with an eternity to do anything but work. I signed up for Netflix for the very first time in my life and this is where another unforgettable memory from those two years came to my life. Through my screen I found art, these stories allowed me to forget my reality and fight batters for causes close to my heart. They allowed me to dream of a life I hadn’t imagined for me and my daughter. For although these stories were fiction, their effect on my life was true. They made me dream of a world of plenty, where I could work and provide the life I had never had for my daughter, I was determined to come to the USA.

Even after the pandemic has passed and everything is back to normal, I don’t think anyone is back to normal and that necessarily isn’t a bad thing. The pandemic was a reminder that as humans, at our best the strongest and smartest have sacrificed their energy and time, sometimes even life so that the frail and weak and vulnerable among us can live to see another day and fulfill their dreams with prejudice. That the world is sometimes kind enough to give the “undeserving” the most chances in life. I hope I learned a thing or two about living, because like everything I described as art in movies, life is beautiful. 

For all its downsides I got a thing or two from covid. The love of my life, my daughter. She is a light in my life of how from fire diamonds are forged, for her I will forever be grateful. The second thing was time, as I took a break, I noticed how time is also a privilege for the few. I worked long hours prior and never got time to reflect about my life, what was important to me, what my loved ones were going through. I spent the 2 years with three of my siblings I hadn’t had time to understand since I was the oldest and time hadn’t been kind enough to give me a chance watch them grow into themselves, I am thankful I no longer share only blood with them, we share a friendship strengthened by blood and for that I will forever be grateful.

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationEssayGrief & ChangeHealth CareInspiration & HopeMental Health/WellbeingWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: Grace

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

I’m Grace, a 29-year-old woman who bravely faced the challenges of giving birth during the Covid-19 pandemic. It was a rollercoaster ride filled with uncertainties and isolation, but I never let it dim my spirit. Despite limited support and the constant worries, I tapped into my inner strength and sought solace in virtual communities. Now, as a proud mother, I am determined to share my story and advocate for the needs of other mothers who have experienced similar challenges. Together, we can inspire resilience and overcome any obstacle that comes our way.

Audio Story by Anonymous

Back to Stories search

English Translation

For me I was very scared because I was pregnant. I saw the way people were getting so sick. It really made me think that what about me if it gets me, I will lose my pregnancy. But because of God’s blessing I never became sick and I had a healthy baby, so I really say thank you God I never got sick. 

Kinyarwanda Transcription

Kuri njye nagize ubwoba bwinshi kuko nari ntwite. Nabonye uburyo abantu barwara cyane. Byanteye rwose gutekereza ko bite kuri njye nibimbona, nzabura inda. Ariko kubera umugisha w’Imana ntabwo nigeze ndwara kandi nabyaye umwana muzima, ndavuga rwose rero urakoze Mana sinigeze ndwara.

Themes:

AudioCommunity Connection & IsolationHealth CareMental Health/Wellbeing

Medium: Audio

Author: Anonymous

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

I am mother of 1 baby boy who keeps me busy all the time.

Written Story by F.I. Goldhaber

Back to Stories search

Eugenics

First published in The Trick Is To Keep Breathing and What Color is Your Privilege?
September, 2022 

She said the quiet part out loud,
people “unwell to begin with”
don’t deserve to live. Just like the
poor, the Black, the Indigenous,
the immigrants, the Queers, the Trans.

Because once they figured out most
victims were marginalized, had
comorbidities, were “others”,
the fight to eliminate the
virus succumbed to the battle
to save the economy god.
in the name of the Profit you
must sacrifice the grandparents,
disabled veterans, nannys’
children, baristas’ mothers, clerks
at the corner stores, restaurant
servers, health care workers, drivers
bringing groceries, carry out.

The U.S. already makes clear
who is not wanted, including
those with disabilities, pre-
existing conditions, other
gods, languages, and cultural
traditions. No skin tones kissed with
melanin or “natural” hair.

Disposable collateral,
oblations necessary to
avoid missing brunch, a concert,
a chance to go out dancing or
cheer for the home team at a pub.
Millions already dead, millions
more permanently disabled to
ensure the privileged’s comfort,
the corporations’ bottom lines,
billionaires’ stock portfolios.

As we tumble into Nazi
sovereignty it’s worth reminding
those gambling with their own health and
risking the lives of others, that
among the first slaughtered in the
German Holocaust were those who’re
disabled by the “Spanish” flu.

 

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationDisability/ImmunocompromisedGrief & ChangeHealth CareIdentity & Social ChangePoetryWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: F.I. Goldhaber

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

F.I. Goldhaber’s words capture people, places, and politics with a photographer’s eye and a poet’s soul. Paper, plastic, electronic, and audio magazines, books, newspapers, calendars, broadsides, and street signs display their poetry, fiction, and essays. Left Fork press published — 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒔 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒆? — their collection of political statements in poetic form — in September, 2022. http://www.goldhaber.net/

Written Story by F.I. Goldhaber

Back to Stories search

Normal Life 

First Published, August 2020, in CHAOS: The Poetry Vortex

You have a nice home to shelter in,
food to eat, shows to stream, games to play.

You don’t live with an abuser or
parents who misgender you; insist
your orientation is sinful.

Yet you complain you’re deprived of your
social life, restaurants, bars, park visits.

You don’t need to risk your life and your
loved ones for minimum wage
without protection, sick leave, health care.

You’ve enough to pay your bills; credit
cards to order online; connected
devices allowing well-paid work.

But you miss the ball games, parties,
band performances, church services.

You don’t shiver in the cold, snow, and
rain under a tent if you’re lucky,
or just a cardboard box, or blanket.

If your throat is sore, your head feels hot,
you can telephone your physician.

You don’t have to stand in line for a
clinic that sends you home when they run
out of test kits. Or just keep working.

You know what the virus looks like,
how to prevent exposure and illness.

You don’t toil next to those who could be
infected with no information
how, or supplies, to protect yourself.

You fret about event and concert
cancellations, missed graduations.

You don’t worry about untreated
broken bones; forced sex without access
to birth control; deadly pregnancy.

The only people desperate for
life to return to normal are those
privileged to enjoy “normal” life.

 

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationDisability/ImmunocompromisedGrief & ChangeHealth CareIdentity & Social ChangePoetryWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: F.I. Goldhaber

Date Submitted: November 27, 2023

Bio:

F.I. Goldhaber’s words capture people, places, and politics with a photographer’s eye and a poet’s soul. Paper, plastic, electronic, and audio magazines, books, newspapers, calendars, broadsides, and street signs display their poetry, fiction, and essays. Left Fork press published — 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒔 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒆? — their collection of political statements in poetic form — in September, 2022. http://www.goldhaber.net/

Written Story by F.I. Goldhaber

Back to Stories search

Alone, Now and Forever 

Alone, Now and Forever

 

 

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationDisability/ImmunocompromisedGrief & ChangeHealth CareIdentity & Social ChangePoetryWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: F.I. Goldhaber

Date Submitted: November 27, 2023

Bio:

F.I. Goldhaber’s words capture people, places, and politics with a photographer’s eye and a poet’s soul. Paper, plastic, electronic, and audio magazines, books, newspapers, calendars, broadsides, and street signs display their poetry, fiction, and essays. Left Fork press published — 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒔 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒆? — their collection of political statements in poetic form — in September, 2022. http://www.goldhaber.net/

Written Story by Anonymous

Back to Stories search

The first time I heard about Covid-19, I thought it was the same as any flu that will be over in a  couple of weeks. Suddenly, schools were going online, typical school experiences were a thing  of the past. I was anxious out of my mind about my last year of high school. My last year of high  school, as well as my last year in the early college at Portland Community College, had just  begun. I had to take college classes while trying to complete both my high school and  associate’s requirements. When we had to switch to online school, I remembered feeling like  failure was inevitable for me since I had not anticipated not being in an online environment. I  was feeling overwhelmed because I had to adjust to a different learning environment on top of  having to juggle my high school and college requirements. I was unfamiliar with learning online  and did not know how to navigate this new system. It was a lot of pressure for me to learn all  the various tools and techniques quickly. I found myself stuck in feelings of incompetence. I had  to take classes like human anatomy and statistics. I convinced myself that I couldn’t do it and  that I would not be able to get my associate’s like I wanted. I started showing anxiety symptoms,  especially through binge eating because of fear of disappointing myself and my family. I  experienced an increased sense of pressure and feeling overwhelmed because I was constantly  comparing myself to others and believing I couldn’t keep up. I also felt like I was letting myself  and my family down, which led to feelings of guilt and shame. This further compounded my  anxiety and negative thoughts. Due to the lockdown in those early stages of Covid-19, I couldn’t  get out of my house or find a place to do other things that didn’t pertain to schoolwork. This  made it difficult to find a sense of balance and break the cycle of comparison and perfectionism.  It also prevented me from taking much-needed breaks and engaging in activities that could help  me manage my stress, such as exercise, meditation, or talking to friends. Fortunately, Zoom  became famous quickly and a group of people were able to meet online. I had several  opportunities to get together with my youth group from church to talk and go through the word  of God and remind me that I am not alone even when I think I am. It allowed for a sense of  community to remain during this uncertain and isolating time. It gave me the chance to take a  break and speak with friends. This helped take my mind off of the stress of the pandemic for a  time and gave me a sense of peace. It was a great way to share our joys, sorrows, and  experiences with each other. We were also able to use it to stay connected to our church family  and keep up to date with all of the latest news and events. There are still after-effects of my experiences of Covid. I was diagnosed with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder in 2021.  Most people don’t know if the internal issues I suffered during Covid and even now when the  after-effects can be felt. I am glad that I was able to get help when I needed it and found a way  to deal with what I was going through.

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationEssayGrief & ChangeHealth CareIdentity & Social ChangeInspiration & HopeMental Health/WellbeingWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: Anonymous

Date Submitted: November 27, 2023

Bio:

I am a girl who struggled internally through Covid years. I got the courage to seek help and rebuild the self-competence I had in myself. I started to take care of myself and my mental health. I became more aware of the needs of my body and mind. I learned to put myself first and prioritize my well-being.

Written Story by Anonymous

Back to Stories search

In the beginning of COVID, there were two things I feared: the disease itself and the fear of  getting COVID. As a disabled person with multiple medical issues, I listened to the news reports  of the lack of staff, the lack of personal protective equipment, the lack of facilities, and the need  to categorize or prioritize people who became infected by able bodied or disabled. The able  bodied were identified as contributing members of society, less expensive to treat, and more  likely to survive and recover from the disease. I felt fear and anger that should I seek treatment  for COVID as a disabled person, I would be refused admission to the hospital or admitted to the  hospital and then left in a corner to die. 

This fear created an extremely high level of anxiety as I found myself isolating myself from  family members and friends in order to not be infected. Those family members included people  older than me with disabilities as well and serious chronic health conditions. Knowing that if  they tested positive for COVID meant that they would be given a death sentence. How could  their age and their disabilities be considered an inconvenience for the health care system? How  could my disabilities be considered the benchmark for whether or not I would receive care. I  have never felt so unwanted by society as I did during these early days of COVID. When I spoke  out about the ranking of able-bodied people over disabled people to receive treatment, I was  shocked to hear able-bodied people tell me that I was a selfish individual. That if I had done  more to be healthy before COVID, health care providers would not have had to make this  decision. They acted as if my disabilities were my fault and as if my disabilities would simply go  away if I wanted them too. 

I felt like I had to hide myself away to protect myself not only from the disease but from society  itself. I missed my grandson being born and had to view him through the front window of his  living room. A piece of glass between us to protect him and myself. Months later after I was  vaccinated, I was finally able to hold him. I cry writing this now as just picking him up in my arms  felt like the world might be becoming right again. When I was vaccinated, it felt like every part  of my body where I experienced lifelong conditions and chronic health issues was attacked. I  could barely walk and it felt like every nerve was on fire. I had little strength or ability to  complete the smallest tasks. This lasted for weeks. When I brought up my symptoms, I was  ignored initially. I suffered endlessly with no relief in sight. Eventually, those symptoms would  diminish but I still experience pain in my legs and a feeling of constant exhaustion. I can only  hope that our society has learned from COVID to make sure that everyone in the community is  protected and cared for no matter what the crisis, disaster or emergency. No one should feel  isolated and fear seeking medical help as a disabled person.

Themes:

AbleismCare & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationDisability/ImmunocompromisedEssayGrief & ChangeHealth CareIdentity & Social ChangeMental Health/Wellbeing

Medium: Written

Author: Anonymous

Date Submitted: November 27, 2023

Bio:

I have been disabled since I was thirteen as a result of a serious medical condition. I have experienced bias and discrimination since age 13 around my disability. It was not until COVID that I felt completely alone and vulnerable and feared for my life if I sought medical treatment.

Audio Story by Domatha

Back to Stories search

English Translation

We had a problem with COVID the whole year. We had sick people and the company was closed for three months. Our kids became sick and we could not go to the hospital because the hospitals were not accepting people. There were a lot of problems, too many problems, like hunger, no food for the kids and no money. It was hard because we lost people in our family and we were not allowed to go for their funeral because of COVID. That is some of the problems that we had in our family. We just don’t know what to do should this ever happen again because it’s such a problem. COVID is a problem to everyone ,kids ,parents ,and lots of other people. COVID became a problem because of language problems. When they call us to ask questions we don’t know what to say or answer. COVID came with a lot of problems, but work is important to us and we could not go when kids were sick. They have to stay in their rooms. Even going to see friends and visiting others is hard because there was no public transportation. We cannot talk about it so much [about COVID] and cover everything because there were too many problems associated with COVID like not being able to go shopping, to go to work, and school and companies still being closed. We could not go to the burials of family members and community members who died. There is no way to be helped, but we know that we can get help with work from the government, but what I would say is that COVID is really bad because when your family member dies you may not be able to see them. COVID really made us feel down. 

Swahili Transcription

Tulikuwa na tatizo la COVID mwaka mzima. Tulikuwa na wagonjwa na kampuni ilifungwa kwa miezi mitatu. Watoto waliugua na hatukuweza kwenda hospitalini kwa sababu hospitali hazikuwa zikipokea watu. Kulikuwa na shida nyingi, shida nyingi, kama njaa, hakuna chakula cha watoto na pesa. Ilikuwa ngumu kwa sababu tulipoteza watu katika familia yetu na hatukuruhusiwa kwenda kwa mazishi yao kwa sababu ya COVID. Hayo ni baadhi ya matatizo ambayo tulikuwa nayo katika familia yetu. Hatujui tufanye nini ikiwa hii itatokea tena kwa sababu ni shida sana. COVID ni tatizo kwa kila mtu, watoto, wazazi, na watu wengine wengi. COVID imekuwa tatizo kwa sababu ya matatizo ya lugha. Wanapotupigia simu kuuliza maswali hatujui la kusema wala kujibu. COVID ilikuja na matatizo mengi, lakini kazi ni muhimu kwetu na hatukuweza kwenda wakati watoto walikuwa wagonjwa. Wanapaswa kukaa katika vyumba vyao. Hata kwenda kuwaona marafiki na kuwatembelea wengine ni ngumu kwa sababu hapakuwa na usafiri wa umma. Hatuwezi kuizungumzia sana na kumaliza kila kitu kwa sababu kulikuwa na matatizo mengi sana yanayohusiana na COVID kama vile hakuna ununuzi, hakuna kwenda kazini au kampuni za shule bado zimefungwa. Wanafamilia pamoja na wanajamii waliofariki hawakuweza kwenda kuzikwa. Hakuna njia ya kusaidiwa, lakini tunajua kwamba tunaweza kupata usaidizi wa kazi kutoka kwa serikali, lakini ninachoweza kusema ni kwamba COVID ni mbaya sana kwa sababu mwanafamilia wako anapokufa huenda usiweze kuwaona. COVID kweli ilitufanya tujihisi chini.Hayo ni baadhi ya matatizo ambayo tulikuwa nayo katika familia yetu. Hatujui tufanye nini ikiwa hii itatokea tena kwa sababu ni shida sana. COVID ni tatizo kwa kila mtu, watoto, wazazi, na watu wengine wengi. COVID imekuwa tatizo kwa

sababu ya matatizo ya lugha. Wanapotupigia simu kuuliza maswali hatujui la kusema wala kujibu. COVID ilikuja na matatizo mengi, lakini kazi ni muhimu kwetu na hatukuweza kwenda wakati watoto walikuwa wagonjwa. Wanapaswa kukaa katika vyumba vyao. Hata kwenda kuwaona marafiki na kuwatembelea wengine ni ngumu kwa sababu hapakuwa na usafiri wa umma. Hatuwezi kuizungumzia sana na kumaliza kila kitu kwa sababu kulikuwa na matatizo mengi sana yanayohusiana na COVID kama vile hakuna ununuzi, hakuna kwenda kazini au kampuni za shule bado zimefungwa. Wanafamilia pamoja na wanajamii waliofariki hawakuweza kwenda kuzikwa. Hakuna njia ya kusaidiwa, lakini tunajua kwamba tunaweza kupata usaidizi wa kazi kutoka kwa serikali, lakini ninachoweza kusema ni kwamba COVID ni mbaya sana kwa sababu mwanafamilia wako anapokufa huenda usiweze kuwaona. COVID kweli ilitufanya tujihisi chini.

Themes:

AudioCare & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationGrief & ChangeHealth CareMental Health/WellbeingTranslationWork/Unemployment

Medium: Audio

Author: Domatha

Date Submitted: November 27, 2023

Bio:

I love to sing and be with family. I also enjoy cooking and meeting new people, but family is first.

Audio Story by Clotilide

Back to Stories search

English Translation

It was really difficult during this Corona time. We lost a lot of things like work, money and food. Many people I knew died of Corona, but in my family nobody died, so I thank God for that. I know some of my neighbors died of Coronavirus. There was also so much poverty because there was no work. We as women had a lot of problems because we stayed home for a long time, actually a whole year without work or money. We also kept hearing every now and then certain families have lost someone or certain communities have lost someone. This was really hard on us hearing these things and yet there is nothing we could do to help. So, we keep asking God to help us so that Corona never comes back again. We are also asking the government to continue helping us out ,that is our request. We were also really praying to God to help this Corona go away because we lived in so much fear. We knew that if you went out somewhere you would come back with Corona. We also knew that if kids went somewhere like school they would also come back with Corona. We were that afraid, but now we thank God he has really saved us because we are still alive. Many died ,we saw some of this in the news and it was really scary. There was so much poverty and life was uncertain without money and with kids, but we thank God for having taken care of us through vaccines that we got, which really helped out like the vaccines. Our prayer is to stay safe and healthy, so that this disease does not come back again ever and we ask the government for continuous help. 

Swahili Transcription

Ilikuwa ngumu sana wakati huu wa Corona. Tulipoteza vitu vingi kama kazi, pesa na chakula. Watu wengi niliowafahamu walikufa kwa Corona, lakini katika familia yangu hakuna aliyefariki, hivyo namshukuru Mungu kwa hilo. Najua baadhi ya majirani zangu walikufa kwa Coronavirus. Pia kulikuwa na umaskini mwingi kwa sababu hakukuwa na kazi. Sisi kama wanawake tulikuwa na shida nyingi kwa sababu tulikaa nyumbani kwa muda mrefu, kwa kweli mwaka mzima bila kazi au pesa. Pia tuliendelea kusikia kila kukicha familia fulani zimepoteza mtu au jamii fulani zimepoteza mtu. Hili lilikuwa gumu sana kwetu kusikia mambo haya na bado hakuna tunachoweza kufanya ili kusaidia. Kwa hiyo, tunaendelea kumuomba Mungu atusaidie ili Corona isirudi tena. Pia tunaiomba serikali iendelee kutusaidia, hilo ni ombi letu. Pia tulikuwa tunamuomba sana Mungu atuepushe na Corona maana tuliishi kwa hofu kubwa. Tulijua kwamba ukitoka mahali fulani utarudi na Corona. Pia tulijua kwamba watoto wakienda mahali fulani kama shule wangerudi na Corona. Tulikuwa na hofu hiyo, lakini sasa tunamshukuru Mungu kwa kweli ametuokoa kwa sababu bado tuko hai. Wengi walikufa, tuliona baadhi ya haya kwenye habari na ilikuwa ya kutisha sana. Kulikuwa na umaskini mwingi na maisha hayakuwa na uhakika bila pesa na watoto, lakini tunamshukuru Mungu kwa kututunza kupitia matibabu ambayo tulipata ambayo yalisaidia sana kama chanjo. Maombi yetu ni kuwa salama na afya njema, ili ugonjwa huu usijirudie tena na tunaiomba serikali kwa msaada endelevu.

Themes:

AudioCommunity Connection & IsolationGrief & ChangeHealth CareQuarantineTranslation

Medium: Audio

Author: Clotilide

Date Submitted: November 22, 2023

Bio:

I love to cook and take care of my family and I also love singing cause it makes me happy.

Written Story by Adriana

Back to Stories search

My name is Adriana. I was an essential worker. I worked in healthcare as a medication aide and  caregiver. Something I’ve been doing since 2006. I enjoyed it. I wish I could go back. After I got  covid in late September of 2020 my whole life changed. I lost my voice cause I yanked out the  tube that I had down my throat. Couldn’t speak without taking a breath in between words. Was  hospitalized for way over a month. Lost close to 100 pounds I believe. I couldn’t stand the first  time I tried to get out of the hospital bed. I had staff on either side of me in their protective gear  assisting me with standing and I proceeded to buckle and had to sit back down. I needed to  learn to walk all over again. I was using a walker and wheelchair. I couldn’t eat either. You see,  I’m diabetic and have gastroparesis. Anytime my body goes through a trauma I end up getting  sick and unable to eat without being sick. I ate chicken noodle soup for weeks after I got home.  And Gatorade. Slowly introducing solid foods. I had many falls at home since then. Once even  busted my lip open and needed stitches when I passed out just from walking one room to  another. My body wanted me to live. My doctor was surprised to see me alive in his office. If  that’s what you could call it. I was sitting in a wheelchair with a mask on. Hunched over. My  leggings that used to fit looked like pants on me. Months later, I started losing my hair. I used to  have thick hair. Now I don’t have much. My mind used to be organized. Work was ok for me  before. Now my brain feels like it’s in a fog most of the time. I can’t work anymore. I don’t have  the strength to do basic cpr or climb up stairs. Carrying a bag of groceries is hard. Walking in the  grocery store is near impossible as I get out of breath so easily. I have gone to physical therapy.  If the vaccine was around before I had covid, I would have gotten the vaccine. I remember  thinking so many times that I can’t do this anymore, this is too hard. I don’t want to try  anymore. I had so many people checking in on me every day. I remember thinking that I wanted  them to stop that. To just let me disappear. My depression was at an all time low. I’m such a  people person. I love giving and getting hugs. And when covid arrived, that stopped. And then  being isolated with covid unable to work for months after. And when I tried to go back to work I  realized still that I had a long road ahead of me. I don’t work. It wouldn’t be safe for me. I miss  my residents. I miss the social aspect. I miss what covid stole from me. I’m not who I used to be.

Themes:

AbleismCare & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationDisability/ImmunocompromisedEssayGrief & ChangeHealth CareMental Health/WellbeingWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: Adriana

Date Submitted: November 22, 2023