Sorted by: Theme: Grief & Change

Audio Story by Lukulambo

Oregon Health Equity Alliance · Story from Lukulambo

English Translation

I had Corona, for those of you who do not understand what Corona is. I myself actually suffered from this Corona. In fact I prayed to God that Corona never comes back again. Yes, I really suffered and other people did as well. Two years without work, I was really in bad shape. People could not do anything because everywhere was closed and kids could not go to school .This is not a normal disease, this is something that scares the whole world. To date, you hear the word Corona and you want to run away, but I thank God. For me I remember coughing so much to the point where my ribs hurt. It made us also fearful and afraid of each other. Whenever you would see or hear someone coughing you wanted to run away. I remember companies were closed. It was not normal nor was it a joke. We suffered so much, people died and we do not wish it on anybody. We suffered a lot as a family and we had some people who died. We pray to God that it does not come back, because it’s something that is making the world suffer so much. There was no going out, kids could not play as usual, you could not go shopping, you could not just drive. I have never been so scared in my life. We need to pray to God that it does not come back. People were coughing so much that whenever you saw someone you wanted to run away. In fact, Malaria is even better. All jobs in America stopped, if anybody tells me that there is Corona again, we all would go away, and other jobs would never come back for years.

Swahili Transcription

Nilikuwa na Corona, kwa wale ambao hamuelewi Corona ni nini. Mimi mwenyewe niliteseka na hii Corona. Kwa kweli nilimwomba Mungu kwamba Corona isirudi tena. Ndiyo, niliteseka sana na watu wengine pia walifanya hivyo. Miaka miwili bila kazi, nilikuwa katika hali mbaya sana. Watu hawakuweza kufanya chochote kwa sababu kila mahali pamefungwa na watoto hawakuweza kwenda shule .Huu sio ugonjwa wa kawaida, hili ni jambo ambalo linatisha dunia nzima. Hadi leo, unasikia neno Corona na unataka kukimbia, lakini namshukuru Mungu. Kwangu nakumbuka nilikohoa sana hadi mbavu zinaniuma. Ilitufanya sisi pia kuogopana na kuogopana. Wakati wowote ungeona au kusikia mtu akikohoa ulitaka kukimbia. Nakumbuka makampuni yalifungwa. Haikuwa kawaida wala haikuwa mzaha. Tuliteseka sana, watu walikufa na hatutaki mtu yeyote. Tuliteseka sana kama familia na tulikuwa na watu fulani waliokufa. Tunaomba Mungu isirudi, maana ni jambo linaloifanya dunia kuteseka sana. Hakukuwa na kwenda nje, watoto hawakuweza kucheza kama kawaida, haungeweza kwenda ununuzi, haungeweza kuendesha gari tu. Sijawahi kuogopa sana maishani mwangu. Tunapaswa kuomba kwa Mungu ili isirudi. Watu walikuwa wakikohoa sana hata ukimuona mtu ulitaka kukimbia. Kwa kweli, Malaria ni bora zaidi. Kazi zote Amerika zilisimamishwa, ikiwa mtu yeyote ataniambia kuwa kuna Corona tena, sote tungeenda, na kazi zingine hazitarudi kwa miaka. mtu yeyote ataniambia kuwa kuna Corona tena, sote tungeenda, na kazi zingine hazitarudi kwa miaka.

Themes:

AudioCommunity Connection & IsolationGrief & ChangeMental Health/WellbeingTranslationWork/Unemployment

Medium: Audio

Author: Lukulambo

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

I love to watch soccer and I also love to sing and be around people.

Written Story by Anonymous

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Socrates said, “The secret to change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” While Covid may not have been old when my daughter was born in late December of 2019, I certainly wanted to build a new foundation for my partner and I’d daughter. We had tried for years to conceive and in the spring of 2019, when the positive result appeared, I was overjoyed! My partner is an amazing woman and simply the greatest mother, my daughter and I are both so fortunate to have her in our lives. Knowing that she and I get the joy of preparing to bring into the world our greatest joy was a gift beyond measure. And boy did that time go fast!

The Sunday morning that my partner’s water broke was a whirlwind of movement to get to the hospital as quickly as possible. You see, our daughter was born 3 weeks early and we hadn’t yet prepared for her as much as we should have. While my partner is a very forward-thinking individual, I tend to focus on the present and worry about the details later. Let’s just say that I am so, so glad that my partner had a bag packed for herself and we had a crib (even if the mattress for the crib wasn’t being delivered until Monday). We drove to the hospital through a small rainstorm, but we made it safely and got checked in, ready to see our daughter.

My partner was induced and delivered our daughter within the same day. Look, I have seen tough people, having worked on several trail crews doing manual labor such as literally wrestling holders into the perfect position for a stone step (my partner has done this work as well, I’m proud to say), but no one could have handled the pain of being induced to deliver in such a small amount of time as my partner. To say I felt a little useless and a whole lot confused wouldn’t be a wholly invalid statement. But I tried to help how I could and my partner, the real champ, delivered our little girl into the world at 9 PM on the day she checked into the hospital. I will never forget hearing our daughter’s first cry or the warmth in my heart seeing my partner holding our wonderful child.

Our parents came to the hospital, along with my partner’s brother, and we all were so happy to welcome our little bundle of joy into a world of opportunity and love. While navigating a whole new world of parenthood in our hospital room, there was change brewing. Our daughter was placed onto a 2-hour feeding schedule to help gain weight as she was born early and needed to gain weight before being discharged. While I will do whatever I have to do make sure our daughter is provided for and I heard about sleep disruption with a new child, it was hard. Through the joys of navigating becoming first time parents, I realized just how little I would not do or change to give our daughter the life she deserved.

Nearing the end of our hospital stay we were watching CNN. This was early January 2020 and not more than a few days earlier we were celebrating the new year with my partner’s parents and brother while my daughter slept on her mother’s chest. But it was hard to be joyful, or optimistic, when witnessing people being forcefully quarantined into their homes in Wuhan, China. Change was happening and, even thousands of miles away, it seemed like uncertain times were upon us. It was frightening to say the least but, optimistic to a fault, I thought that whatever was happening in Wuhan would not come to Coos County in Oregon…

Well to say I am wrong is about like saying the surface of the sun is a bit warm. I expected life to change when I became a father. Maybe I will get less sleep, cut back on my gaming time, and be prepared to listen to some catchy kid songs if come to learn to enjoy (hopefully). But what I ended up with was a world where millions would die from a virus that spread globally within months. It was NOT what I wanted for my daughter.

During the Covid-19 pandemic many people experienced changes that radically altered their perceived future, their careers, their financial stability, and dashed away many hopes and dreams. While I cannot say that I had the worst of it by any stretch, before our daughter finally received her Covid-19 vaccine we had moved towns, I lost my job as a sole supporter to my family, began counseling services, and experienced the frustration of seeing my daughter grow up in a world in which my partner and I had to restrict seeing family and friends to ensure the health of our daughter. I understand I am not unique or alone in those situations but there was not exactly a handbook for this.

There were many parts of the pandemic that actually provided me with what I would never have dreamed of having before. I have worked completely remotely since my daughter was born, and if I can help it at all I will try in all of my power to keep it that way. The chance to be home with my family during the day was such an amazing experience. It has not been easy, especially when I was doing direct practice for a while, but my current job in a whole new field has been both challenging and rewarding. That change HAS been a silver lining from the changes caused by Covid-19.

Change is the only constant in this world. While I knew that well before Covid, perhaps it had shown me just how easy it is for society to radically change. So, as Socrates said, perhaps it is best to stop fighting the old and to instead pursue what I DO want for my future. The pandemic has shown me I want to be the best father I can, the best partner I can, and to be brave enough to fall. But more importantly the bravery to get up after falling. It hit me hard, really hard, when I lost my job. I went to school for that job, and it felt like sand slipping through my hand and floating in the wind while I was frozen in fear…

But that did not stop me. I continued to search for change, to search for good. What inspired that change was my daughter. No matter what I will do, I need to do to ensure she gets EVERYTHING she needs to have a happy life. I am sure almost every parent would say the same. Becoming a parent was a change. Witnessing and living through the pandemic was a change. Those two events happened so closely together it is difficult to say which affected me the most. But I don’t have to choose which one did impact me, that is in the old. What matters now is the new.

A new life with love, life, and the opportunity to see my family thrive. To see my daughter go to pre-school and work towards becoming the veterinarian she says she will become. My wife will find a job she loves and be close to her family. And through it all I will continue to support them. My new change is to live my life for them because they are my life. I know that is cliché but I can’t help it. All I want is my loved ones to be happy, healthy, and to pursue the new that they are meant to pursue.

Themes:

Community Connection & IsolationEssayGrief & ChangeIdentity & Social ChangeInspiration & HopeMental Health/WellbeingPregnancy & BirthWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: Anonymous

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Written Story by Anonymous

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In March of 2020, Covid19 descended in our community much like any other communities in Oregon. The entire community went into lock down just like the whole State and Country did. We entered into survivor mode in effort to combat and educate community members about this terrible pandemic. This was not easy and it required cooperation of everyone. As a community our first and primary duty was to assure that everyone is safe and protected. We followed every single guideline as given without exception. We also resulted in using traditional healing mechanism for preventing getting this terrible disease. One of the best way was to protect ourselves from getting a cold which could result in possibly weakening the body and making it susceptible to getting infected. So we consumed everything that will fortify our bodies ans health. One of the simplest remedies used was to boil a combination of lemon, ginger, onion, and garlic and then add a spoon of natural honey. This was the perfect combination to make the body not susceptible to cold. This little an simple remedy worked like magic. We also formed an alliance in our community towards protecting our community members. This was meant to assure that everyone was healthy. We connect via frequent phone calls, via social media such whatsapp very often if not daily. We did drive by to our community members that to assure more visibility and assurance that everyone was doing well. It doesn’t mean that member did not get sick, it simply means that we kept an open communication to assure that if a community member was to get convid19, we will sick resources to assure that he or she is has all the care they need. This was not a simple endeavor since there was still some stigma about covid19 as some people thought they will be shined if it discovered that they have been infected by Civid19. So we had to create a sense of community understanding that covid19 is a disease that no one is immune. At any particular time anyone could unfortunately get it. The most important this is that it matters to assure that anyone affected will get all care and help they needed to make sure the come though victorious. As a community we launched a campaign designed to informatio all community members on facts about covid19, and possible remedies including self care. This became the most important mission of community elders to assure that our community stays unified and in keeping everyone safe. This involved frequent phone calls, frequent chats and once in while a get together in socially distanced way. All of these measures were meant to stay connected and stay current by ensuring the well-being of community members. One of the best weapon we realized was education. Education provided knowledge, shared values, collaboration, and understanding that no one was alone. In this circumstances assuring that every member was well and healthy was all we needed to accomplish our goal. This is often a long term project for community well-being.

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationEssayGrief & ChangeIdentity & Social ChangeInspiration & HopeRemote Connections

Medium: Written

Author: Anonymous

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

I am a community member who cares about our community with a lifelong commitment to advance community well-being.

Written Story by Oluwatosin Oginni

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Impacts of COVID-19 pandemic on family connection: Community Connection and Isolation

The experiences and impacts of COVID-19 pandemic are ones that I will not forget very quickly. This is because it has really changed my perspectives about the importance of communal living and the support that comes from the community, which we often take for granted. My wife became pregnant during the COVID-19 pandemic period and as a result, we were confined to stay at home. Being our first time of been pregnant, there were many things we did not know about pregnancy that we could have learned based on meeting people daily. Two inexperienced people living together all day every day, not having anywhere to go, really pushed the boundaries for us as my wife’s mood swings were changing due to the baby’s growth and I was the outlet for her to vent her frustration. So, I learnt to become very patient and calm to understand that many things were going on with her which were beyond her control. Another experience I could not forget easily was having to decide on whether my pregnant wife should get the COVID-19 injection. This was a scary decision as there were no pieces of medical evidence to prove if the injection will impact the unborn baby. Given that I was responsible for grocery shopping, which in turn means I will be interacting with people, I was both at risk of contracting the virus and bringing it home to my wife. So, the decision we made was for me to get vaccinated so I can protect myself and in so doing protect my wife and the unborn baby. My wife ended up getting vaccinated later after the baby’s arrival.

The saddest part of my COVID-19 experience was when my wife gave birth to our baby, and we couldn’t get her mom to come over to assist her with the newborn as well as help her with the fresh wounds from her Caesar Section delivery. It was a bittersweet experience for us. On one hand, we were happy that we have a new baby joining the family, and on the other hand, we had to tend to my wife’s wounds as well as cater for the baby. How do we bathe the baby? The baby was so tiny and fragile. Even though we were taught how to bathe him at the hospital, it flew over our heads when we got home and were faced with that responsibility. This would have been easy with the help of grandma. Both lo and behold, she was denied visa multiple times. This was when it dawned on me that often time, we take community for granted. At this moment, we needed help, while people may be willing to help, they were afraid of contracting COVID-19 as well as not to transmit the same to other people. However, we were able to go through all these experiences unscathed as we now relied on the use of video calling for guidance from grandma.

Furthermore, a more painful part of the covid-19 pandemic was the loss of my dear mum. She took ill during the period of our pregnancy, and we feared taking her to the hospital due to the higher chances of contracting the virus at the hospital, which may end up exacerbating the situation, given that she was in her sixties and older people in that age range were highly susceptible to COVID-19. The news of her death broke me to the core. She was very dear to me, and I had wanted her not only to see my child but to hold him in her hands. I never got that opportunity. I remember holding the baby in my hands in the labor room and breaking down in tears because my mum was not alive to see my child. That moment is still very vivid in my memory, and it is so sacred to me that I will not forget it anytime soon.

COVID-19 pandemic led to so many restrictions which I believe were anti-human/anti-communal living. It really showed that human beings were not meant to live in isolation. We are built to live together as a community, to love one another and enjoy the assistance of other people. My experiences of the COVID-19 pandemic were not so pleasant. While I do not always want to overtly dwell on those experiences, this storytelling project has given me the opportunity to reflect on those experiences and how I have been impacted as well as how it has shaped my priorities in life.

Tosin

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationDisability/ImmunocompromisedEssayGrief & ChangeHealth CareMental Health/Wellbeing

Medium: Written

Author: Oluwatosin Oginni

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

I am originally from Nigeria and I have a wife and a young son. We live in Hillsboro where I work as a process engineer. When I am not working, I spend time with my family watching movies and playing.

Written Story by Anonymous

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Course Schedule

Spring 2020 – French 340: Oral Skills

An advanced study in moving mouths around unfamiliar vowels

We watch the professors tongue hit his teeth, not like that mais comme ça

Sent home to distinguish pronunciations through delayed Zoom connections

Updating our vocabulary; contagieux, unprecedented, pandémie

Even en français these words can’t be romanticized

There is no skill in communicating the worry of unknowns

Only empathy and patience as time strides by and stays put

Why do we entertain the fanfare of academia in times like these

The only test I can bear to take is being withheld by our government

What do grade point averages mean to ghosts

Summer 2020 – Arts 310: Living with Dying; Analyzing HBO’s Six Feet Under

Syllabus finalized in early spring, seats filled before the hospital beds did

Somber introductions and acknowledgement of newly found relevance

Binge watching episodes between planning memorials

I’ve been waiting 15 years to stop whispering about death

But even now as we yell, they don’t listen

My final project is a business plan; implementing grief education in schools

There is beauty in creating the structures we wish we’d had

And anger in knowing our pain doesn’t necessitate change

I am no stranger to death

I know there are much worse things to face

Fall 2020 – French 400: Linguistics

Apocalypse, from the Greek apokalyptein, “to uncover”

Etymology turning despair to opportunity

The clarity of interconnectedness cannot be unseen

How can our words keep up with circumstance

Do we dare attempt to articulate our fragmented realities?

I study language to collect descriptors,

Work in health because care transcends translation.

Indefinitely distanced, I seek connection through expression

Covid dismantled my lexicon and sense of community

I rebuild them both

Themes:

Community Connection & IsolationGrief & ChangeHealth CareIdentity & Social ChangeInspiration & HopePoetryWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: Anonymous

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

having worked in a peer-led covid mitigation initiative on their university’s campus and graduating with a degree in language studies, this artist has been heavily contemplating the intimate relationship between health, grief, and artistic expression since 2020. they value community built on solidarity and creativity.

Written Story by Myat

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Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationEssayGrief & ChangeHealth Care

Medium: Written

Author: Myat

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

Myat Thiri Aye, Medical Doctor, age 46

Written Story by Mondonkilibe Tchadja

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The Covid-19 pandemic has had a significant impact on my life in many ways. The virus, which first emerged in late 2019, quickly spread around the world and was declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization (WHO) in March 2020. Since then, it has had far-reaching effects on my health, finances and social interactions. Being an over the road driver, my face to face interactions were at a minimum except if I was getting fuel, buying and taking a shower or getting something to eat. I didn’t experience the surge of Covid or anything that came with it until a year into it. My means of provision came from the number of successful loads that were delivered with no damaged goods. As time passed, loads that were paying a huge sum of money for deliveries to and from the east coast, became a fraction of what was expected. As if it couldn’t get worse, fuel prices had doubled, if not tripled the amount it was prior to. Not only am I paying for fuel, meals while on the road, truck payments, I also had to worry about rent. It became almost impossible to make ends meet. Before I could get myself situated to get back on the road, things took a turn for the worse.

My invisibility quickly wore off the trip before my last when I was diagnosed with Covid. I had a severe cough that made it impossible to sleep, my chest was tight and breathing normal became a daily challenge. Being an immigrant, I don’t have access to medical care, so seeing a doctor about my symptoms were out of the question. I had to resort to self-medication, teas, herbs and things alike to regain my strength. The virus had me off the road and in bed for nearly one month. Because of it, it has had long lasting effects on my overall health. I don’t normally fall ill, but now, I have become a cold and flu magnet. Sometimes I can’t tell which I am suffering from. My livelihood was in my trucking business, and due to not being on the road, it had significant economic effects on me. It reduced my business operations as a result of the lockdowns and other restrictions, until it finally ended in a permanent shut down of my business. For some time, finding employment was a dread for me. Every application and interview, ended in denial or rejection.

The pandemic has really affected my social interactions, with social distancing being implemented earlier in the spread of the pandemic, mask-wearing (which has finally been lifted), and limits on gatherings to slow the spread if the virus. These measures lead to my loneliness, isolation and mental health challenges. Overall, the pandemic has had a profound impact on my life, finances and economy as whole. The aftermath of this ongoing pandemic seems to still be very rampant. Nobody knows if things will get back to “normal”. But, we should not be fooled thinking it’s over, when it has likely just begun. This has really taught me to have other options, in case things become difficult moving forward.

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationEssayGrief & ChangeWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: Mondonkilibe Tchadja

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

I have worked for myself for 2-3 years and working for someone now seems like something I could do for the rest of my life. Loosing something that I valued has taught me that everything happens for a reason.

Written Story by Anonymous

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During the Covid-19 pandemic has been quite the rollercoaster ride. Not only do I have to navigate the challenges of raising two young kids, but I also have to manage my own health condition—diabetes. It’s been a constant juggling act between taking care of my children’s needs, keeping them safe, and ensuring I stay healthy in these uncertain times.

Every morning begins with a flurry of activity. As I wake up, the thought of how to protect my kids from this invisible enemy looms over me. I rush to the kitchen, brewing a pot of coffee and preparing breakfast for my hungry little ones. I have learned to whip up quick, healthy meals that are diabetes-friendly, so I can set a good example for my kids and manage my own condition. We sit together at the table, sharing stories and laughter, trying to forget the anxiety that hangs in the air. With schools closed and remote learning becoming the new norm, I become both a father and a teacher. Balancing my work responsibilities from home while helping my kids with their assignments has been a challenge. We gather around the dining table, laptops open, and dive into the world of online education. There are times when frustrations bubble to the surface, but I remind myself to be patient, to be understanding. We find creative ways to make learning fun and engaging, incorporating breaks for outdoor activities and explorations in our own backyard. The pandemic has brought us closer as a family, as we spend more time together under one roof. We play board games, build forts, and create art projects. We take long walks in the neighborhood, appreciating the simple pleasures of nature. I cherish these moments, for they remind me of the importance of cherishing the little joys in life amidst the chaos that surrounds us.

However, there are moments when the weight of the world seems too much to bear. Diabetes, already a constant companion, adds an extra layer of concern during these times. I am meticulous about managing my blood sugar levels, ensuring that stress doesn’t take a toll on my health. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and keeping up with my medications have become even more critical. I make it a point to include my children in this journey, educating them about diabetes, so they can understand and support me in my efforts to stay healthy. The fear of contracting the virus is a constant shadow that hangs over our heads. I take every precaution to protect my family and myself, from wearing masks and sanitizing regularly to avoiding crowded places. We miss the hugs of loved ones, the warmth of gatherings, and the spontaneity of life before the pandemic. But in these challenging times, we have learned the importance of resilience, adaptability, and finding joy in the simplest of moments.

As a single dad with diabetes, I’ve learned to embrace the uncertainties that life throws at us. I’ve become more patient, more compassionate, and more grateful for the moments of joy that come our way. I have grown as a father and as an individual, and I hope that my children will look back on this time as a period of strength, resilience, and togetherness. We will navigate this storm together, hand in hand, and come out stronger on the other side.

Themes:

Community Connection & IsolationEssayGrief & ChangeIdentity & Social ChangeInspiration & HopeMental Health/WellbeingWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: Anonymous

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

I have two kids and I have diabetes while in Covid it was hard but I got through it

Written Story by Mohamad Kasim

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I am now 53 years old, and I am still working. I am Rohingya from Burma and have been living in the United States for eight years, having migrated through Malaysia as a refugee. I have a loving family, including a son. Four years ago, I was diagnosed with diabetes, which has been a constant concern in my life.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, starting from around April 2019, I faced a challenging time. I couldn’t work for six months due to business closures, leaving me without any income. The financial strain and uncertainty caused me to experience a deep sense of depression. Sadly, I couldn’t seek help from friends and relatives as they were also facing similar struggles.

When I was finally able to resume work towards the end of 2019, the COVID-19 precautions made it incredibly difficult. Wearing masks, maintaining distance from others, and following numerous safety measures made every working day a challenge. Despite the difficulties, I persevered.

However, in November 2020, I contracted COVID-19. The symptoms were unpleasant, including a running nose, body aches, muscle pain, and fatigue. I immediately went to the hospital to get tested, and the result came back positive. I had to isolate at home for two weeks, separated from my wife and son. Doctors advised me to take Panadol for symptomatic relief and recommended a nutritious diet to support my recovery. My wife took on the responsibility of caring for me, despite battling a non-COVID illness herself.

During my home stay, hospitals from Oregon provided us with utensils, plates, and personal hygiene materials to ensure our safety and minimize the risk of transmission within the household. With time, I managed to recover from COVID-19 without significant complications, although I did notice some issues with memory loss, forgetfulness, and difficulty concentrating, possibly due to the lingering effects of the illness.

In June 2021, another health challenge struck me. I experienced severe chest pain and rushed to the emergency room, where I was diagnosed with a heart attack and myocardial infarction. The hospitalization lasted for four days, and I wondered if this could be a complication of COVID-19. It made me regret not having a thorough medical check-up one month after recovering from the virus. Prior to the heart attack, I had received one dose of the COVID-19 vaccine, which made me doubt whether it was a factor in the cardiac event. However, my wife suggested completing the full vaccination course, and I followed her advice, hoping it would provide some protection for the future.

Now, in 2023, the burden of debt from the financial difficulties during the COVID-19 pandemic still weighs heavily on me. I owe money to relatives who are financially well-off, and I am determined to repay them. The mental strain and breakdown I experienced during that time continue to affect me, along with the persisting issue of forgetful memory.

It has been a challenging journey, but I remain resilient, hopeful, and determined to overcome the obstacles that come my way. I cherish the love and support of my family, and I strive to create a better future for them despite the hardships we have faced.

Themes:

EssayGrief & ChangeInspiration & HopeMental Health/WellbeingWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: Mohamad Kasim

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

I am Rohingya from Burma and I migrated to the United States for seven years .

Written Story by Matt

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My pandemic experience started with a call from my manager: You have been exposed, isolate yourself from others. Call us back if anything happens.

It felt like I had been bitten by a zombie and they were waiting to see if I’ll turn.

Being exposed to illness is something I’ve expected, I work as a X-ray Tech. TB is not a stranger. We in diagnostic imaging are on the front line with doctors and nurses, often not fully appreciated though.

As a X-ray tech I was essential in the COVID ward. I would go through the air lock into my space suit and take portable xrays of patients. There were some times we wished we could go to the ward. One summer the fires were so bad the hospital was so full of smoke the fire alarms kept going off. Breathing that filtered air in our COVID space suits was a real treat.

I got into Xray because I wanted to help patients along their path to wellness. Shooting xrays of knees and hips for replacement planning and seeing them recover and feel better after. It made me feel like I was working in the land of sunshine and rainbows.

It changed, the patients stopped leaving. The COVID ward was crazy. It slid into wild west territory. Doctors were trying to do everything to keep these people alive. I remember helping get ECMO set up, we never do ECMO. Our medical interventions could bypass the heart and lungs, it was often the kidneys that failed. There was something about how the pH couldn’t be correct with the amount of CO2 in the blood.

When patients were discharged It was a celebration. Music would play in the halls.

I remember x-raying someone close to my own age in the COVID ward. When your young you think you’re invincible, that it’s only going to be like the flu at worst. Seeing this patient intubated, alone; that could be me. They were drugged to be paralyzed and to reduce sensations from the choking of the tube down their throat. I was told the patients were still awake.

I volunteer for a graveyard shift Christmas eve to give my coworkers a break. It’s Christmas morning in the COVID ward. My patient has their family on a screen, there’s a nurse bedside saying comforting, compassionate things. It looks grim, no one is supposed to die on Christmas.

Days pass, that patient doesn’t appear on the lists anymore.

But then, a few months ago they’re in the ER. I’m X-raying them, they’re still sick, and in the middle of the exam they mention that I sound familiar. They say how much they appreciate the gentle care they received, that the staff was so nice, that they could remember how I cared for them. I was so surprised they weren’t dead, but you can’t say that to patients. Instead I say: I’m so happy to see you today.

For a moment it felt like I was back in the land of sunshine and rainbows.

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationEssayGrief & ChangeHealth CareIdentity & Social ChangeInspiration & HopeWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: Matt

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

Hello I’m Matt, your friendly neighborhood X-ray Tech. President of the Oregon Society of Radiologic Technologists. I’ve lived around Portland all my life, Graduated from PCC in 2019.