Mom Covid Interview

Sorted by: Theme: Grief & Change

Audio Story by Louisa D.

Back to Stories search

English Translation 

Emily: Hello. This is Speaker 1. Emily Duru. And I’m joined by [ cross-talk ] —
Louisa: Louisa Duru.
Emily: Thank you. Um, and this is going to be talking our COVID experience. So, um, to start off, can you tell me what is your background?
Louisa: Uh, I’m originally from Nigeria. I came to the US, like, 27 plus years ago, and I do work in the health system in work with the Multnomah County Jail.
Emily: Um, and how long have you been working in the medical field?
Louisa: More than 18 years.
Emily: In the first two to three months of the pandemic, how did COVID impact your work?
Louisa: Oh, it was awful when COVID happened. I didn’t think I’m going to make it, and I was so scared. [ Cross-talk ] Everything kind of like shot down so quiet. [ Cross-talk ] And being a single mom with three kids, I was, like, what am I gonna do since I work in the health system, and I can’t avoid it? And, um, it kind of like gave me a nightmare thinking about it. I was thinking of quitting my job to be safe, but then I want my car, and I’m gonna make it. I have no other income. I have to work, so I have no choice. But I was left in fear to go to work, and that was so — I didn’t think I would make the [indistinct] comparing how people were dying and everything was happening. It was so scary.
Emily: Thank you. Um, long-term, how has your job been impacted by COVID?
Louisa: So during COVID a lot of people with medical problems health-wise have to leave their job. So we are kind of like have to work more than we supposed to. So it was more stress and working in the system working with refugees. People were panicking. It was a lot of stress, depression. A lot of things happens to people that we are requesting for help, and the people working were less, and people were getting sick. People get COVID there at and is left for who people who are there to do the same job, so it was a lot of stress being in the clinic.
Emily: Yeah. It’s like you had to pick up the pieces.
Louisa: Yes. [ Cross-talk ] —
Emily: [ Cross-talk ] Right? And how did COVID impact your mental and physical health?

 

Swahili Translation

Emily: Habari. Huyu ni mzungumzaji wa 1. Emily Duru. Na pamoja nami ninaye [ muingiliano wa masafa ] —
Louisa: Louisa Duru.
Emily: Ahsante. Aaa, na tutazungumzia kuhusiana na yale tuliyoyapitia ndani ya kipindi cha COVID. Hivyo basi, kwa kuanza, unaweza kunieleza kuhusiana na historia yako?
Louisa: Aah, kwa asili ninatokea nchini Nigeria. Nilikuja Marekani, takribani miaka 27 iliyopita, nami ninafanya kazi katika idara ya afya ndani ya Gereza la Jimbo la Multnomah.
Emily: Aaa, na umekuwa ukifanya kazi katika ulingo wa matibabu kwa muda mrefu kiasi gani?
Louisa: Kwa zaidi ya miaka 18.
Emily: Ndani ya miezi ya kwanza miwili au mitatu ya kuibuka kwa janga la COVID, kazi yako iliathiriwa namna gani?
Louisa: Ah, hali ilikuwa mbaya sana pindi COVID ilipoibuka. Sikudhani kama ningeweza kunusurika, na nilijawa na hofu sana. [ Muingiliano wa masafa ] Kila kitu ni kama vile kilizimika ghafla. [ Muingiliano wa masafa ] Nami nikiwa kama mama nileaye watoto watatu peke yangu, nilijiuliza nitafanya nini? Kwani kazi yangu ilikuwa ndani ya huduma ya afya nami nisingeweza kuiepuka! Na, aah, kwangu mawazo hayo yalikuwa kama ndoto ya kutisha. Niliwaza kwamba niache kazi yangu ili niweze kuwa salama, lakini sasa nilitaka kuwa na gari langu, hivyo sikuwa na budi kuishinda hali hiyo. Sikuwa na chanzo kingine chochote cha kuniingizia kipato. Inanibidi kufanya kazi, hivyo sina namna. Lakini nilibaki na hofu ya kwenda kazini, na hilo lilikuwa — sikudhani kama ningeweza [msikiko hafifu] ukizingatia namna watu walivyokuwa wanapoteza maisha na mambo yote yaliyokuwa yanatokea. Hali hiyo iliniogopesha sana.
Emily: Ahsante. Aah, kazi yako imepatwa na madhara yapi ya muda mrefu kutokana na COVID?
Louisa: Unajua kipindi cha COVID watu wengi waliokuwa na matatizo ya kiafya walibidi kuziacha kazi zao. Hivyo, sisi tuliobaki tulibidi kufanya kazi nyingi zaidi kuliko tulivyotarajiwa. Hili lilitusababishia mfadhaiko zaidi, sambamba na kule kufanya kazi pamoja na wakimbizi. Watu waliogopa. Mfadhaiko na msongo wa mawazo ulikuwa mkubwa. Mengi yaliwatokea watu tuliowaomba msaada, na watu waliokuwa wanafanya kazi walikuwa wachache, na watu wengi walizidi kuugua. Watu waliofanya kazi kwenye kliniki waliugua COVID, na wale waliobaki walibidi kufanya kazi zao walizoziacha, hivyo mfadhaiko ulikuwa mkubwa ndani ya kliniki.
Emily: Ndio. Ilikuwa kama vile kujaribu kuokota vipande-pande vilivyopasuka.

 

Spanish Translation

Emily: Hola. Soy la interlocutora 1. Emily Duru. Y estoy acompañada por… [interferencia]
Louisa: Louisa Duru.
Emily: Gracias. Ehhh, y esta va a ser una charla acerca de nuestra experiencia con el COVID. Entonces, ehhh, para empezar, ¿podrías contarme un poco sobre tu historia?
Louisa: Ehhh, originalmente soy de Nigeria. Vine a los Estados Unidos hace como 27 años y trabajo en el sistema de salud de la Cárcel del condado de Multnomah.
Emily: Bien, ¿y durante cuánto tiempo has trabajado en el ámbito médico?
Louisa: Más de 18 años.
Emily: En los primeros dos o tres meses de la pandemia, ¿cómo impactó el COVID en tu trabajo?
Louisa: Oh, fue terrible cuando estuvo el COVID. No creía que fuera a lograrlo, y tenía tanto miedo. [Interferencia] Es como que todo estaba cerrado y tan silencioso. [Interferencia] Y siendo una mamá soltera con tres hijos, pensaba… ¿qué voy a hacer, ya que trabajo en el sistema de salud y no puedo evitarlo? Y… ehhh, era como una pesadilla pensar en eso. Pensé en dejar mi trabajo para estar segura, pero luego pensé: quiero mi auto, y lo voy a lograr. No tengo otros ingresos. Tengo que trabajar, entonces no tengo opción. Pero tenía miedo de ir a trabajar, y eso era tan… No creía que pudiera lograr [interferencia] comparando cómo las personas estaban muriendo y todo estaba sucediendo. Tenía tanto miedo.
Emily: Gracias. Ehhh… a largo plazo, ¿cómo estuvo afectado tu trabajo por el COVID?
Louisa: Bueno, durante el COVID, muchas personas con problemas de salud tuvieron que dejar sus trabajos. Entonces, era como que teníamos que trabajar más de lo que se suponía. Entonces era más estrés y trabajar en el sistema, trabajando con refugiados. La gente estaba entrando en pánico. Había mucho estrés, depresión. Les pasaban muchas cosas a las personas que solicitábamos para que nos ayudaran, y la gente estaba trabajando menos y se estaba enfermando. La gente se enferma de COVID y quedan personas así haciendo el mismo trabajo, por eso fue mucho estrés estar en la clínica.
Emily: Sí. Fue como que tuviste que recoger los pedazos.
Louisa: Sí. [Interferencia]
Emily: [Interferencia] ¿Verdad? ¿Y cómo impactó el COVID en tu salud mental y física?

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationGrief & ChangeInspiration & HopeMental Health/WellbeingWork/Unemployment

Medium: Audio

Author: Louisa D.

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

Louisa is a healthcare worker in Multnomah County. She is a single mother of 3.

Written Story by Karina L. Agbisit

Back to Stories search

I just wanted a sandwich. The American-style sub sandwich from Safeway, to be exact. Ham,  turkey, cheddar cheese, tomato slices, lettuce. I’d been buying one nearly every week for  months, slicing it on Tuesday mornings, the pieces disappearing over the next three days. The  sandwich was the perfect lunch for my busy route as a housecleaner, providing much-needed  fuel in between clients. That is, until the stay-at-home orders, and an end to wiping and washing  other people’s things for money.  

“You don’t need it,” said my partner as I hovered near the front door. “We have food in the  house.”  

“There’s food at home” was one of my father’s favorite expressions. We don’t need takeout, we  don’t need to go through the drive-through, we don’t need to buy the chicken tender and jojo  bucket at Wal-Mart because we have food at the house. But I was an adult now, granted, an  unemployed adult now, but an adult, nonetheless. I could buy my own frivolous, unnecessary  food. “I just want a goddamn sandwich.” My raised voice was an overreaction, but I didn’t care.  I didn’t need to yell but my anger needed somewhere to go, anywhere to go. Staying inside,  wearing masks in public, being laid off from my job, waiting for unemployment, waving to  friends from the balcony — I was doing everything right. Why couldn’t I have my sandwich?  

Since the pandemic started, we’d carefully planned our grocery trips, doing our best to buy the  necessities and then some to create a small stockpile. An extra can of beans here, an extra jar of  pasta sauce there; if things were to get worse, we wanted to be prepared. Sometimes our  roommate would add his grocery list too, condensing our household’s interaction with others in  public places. I knew my partner had a good point; why add another potential exposure if it  wasn’t necessary to go out? Think about my health, the health of everyone in the house, of other  people, of friends and strangers alike, we may encounter.  

On the last day at my job as a housecleaner, I told my boss I felt I shouldn’t go to my biweekly  cleaning at the condo for an elderly couple, the guy having mentioned multiple times how they  downsized to their current place after his heart issues. She agreed and instead, I was assigned to a  rental, one of those from a company that bought up houses and rented out rooms on individual  leases. The house contained six working professionals and though I rarely saw them when I  cleaned their place, the threat was still real.  

As I vacuumed dog hair from the gray Ikea couches and the wood floor; as I scrubbed water  rings from the kitchen counter; as I swirled my brush along the round ring inside the toilet I  knew at any moment there they could be, another human being, breathing my same air, their spit  particles floating around me as I tried in vain to scrub evidence of their daily existence away. We  didn’t know how it all worked back then. Sure, there were comorbidities, but it wasn’t hard to  find examples of people who were healthy and died anyway, or people who should have died  right away but lived. All I knew was that every atom in my body didn’t want to find out which  one I would be.  

I was the first person I knew to have a proper cloth mask. The downstairs bathroom in this  shared house was the only other purpose I’d had until the pandemic for covering my mouth and  nose. As I cleaned this home one final time, the elastic bands pulled the black fabric encasing its 

carbon filter tight across my face. Still, I never felt truly safe that day until I packed my cleaning  supplies into my trunk and drove home.  

Standing and stewing at the door about my inability to buy a premade sandwich was the first  time it hit me that life had truly changed. I had no way of knowing how long it would go on, how  we’d continue to wipe our milk cartons and rice pouches and chip bags with Lysol for the next  year, how we’d spend hours on hold with the Oregon unemployment phone line only to receive  our checks weeks later, how we’d yell over the phone and argue over text with loved ones  refusing to mask up or vaccinate. At that moment I simply knew normal was over. 

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationEssayGrief & ChangeWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: Karina L. Agbisit

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

Karina L. Agbisit is a Latina writer and editor based out of Portland, OR. Her writing has been published by Oregon Humanities, Woodhall Press, Cleis Press, Haunted Wates Press, The Vanguard, and Ruminate Magazine. Her cat Daisy misses all of the bonding time they had together as a family during lockdown.

Audio Story by Kamali

Back to Stories search

English Translation

I want to say the badness of this disease called Corona brought lots of problems to many people. For me I saw people who had contracted Corona and I also know people who died from Corona. Corona had come with a lot of problems, like kids not going to school. When they [the children] did [go back to school], we were also scared that they may never return or that they may get sick 

over there, but I thank God that they came back okay. I also saw people really getting so sick every day. The sight of sick people really made me and others get so scared because we have never seen people get sick this way, but we thank the Government for all the help we got in terms of treatment and with vaccines. Without the help of the government I don’t know where we would have been because we got help with food and we got help with money. Thank you and thank you . I saw the badness that came with Corona and the help that we ended up receiving. 

Swahili Transcription

Nataka kusema ubaya wa ugonjwa huu uitwao Corona umeleta matatizo mengi kwa watu wengi. Kwangu niliona watu walioambukizwa Corona na pia ninafahamu watu waliofariki kutokana na Corona. Corona ilikuwa imekuja na matatizo mengi, kama watoto kutokwenda shule. Wakati [watoto] walipofanya [kurudi shuleni], tuliogopa pia kwamba huenda wasirudi tena au kwamba wanaweza kuugua huko, lakini namshukuru Mungu kwamba walirudi sawa. Pia niliona watu wakiugua sana kila siku. Kuonekana kwa wagonjwa kwa kweli kulinifanya mimi na wengine kuogopa sana kwa sababu hatujawahi kuona watu wakiugua namna hii, lakini tunaishukuru Serikali kwa msaada wote tuliopata katika masuala ya matibabu na chanjo. Bila msaada wa serikali sijui tungekuwa wapi maana tulipata msaada wa chakula na tukapata msaada wa pesa. Asante na asante na kwa ajili yangu ndio niliona ubaya wa Corona na msaada ambao tuliishia kuupata.

Themes:

Community Connection & IsolationGrief & ChangeMental Health/WellbeingTranslationWork/Unemployment

Medium: Audio

Author: Kamali

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

I am a Congolese man who also speaks Kinyarwanda. I love my family and care for them all the time, but I love to play soccer and just being happy.

Audio Story by Judith

Back to Stories search

English Translation

I want to talk about Corona. It had never existed before and we don’t know what brought it or where it came from. It surprised people and made things really hard, such as schools being closed, places where people worked and stores were closed. The economy was affected because there was no money, and we could not buy any food. People stayed at home, some even were so scared that they locked their doors completely. I saw neighbors who died. I just hope it will never come back. I pray to God that it never comes back, because kids were affected. They never went to school and things were not the same again. There were programs that were affected and not occurring because offices were closed. Also things were not getting done because people were so afraid of one another and the way Covid was easily spreading. We were also left with so much grief because of friends and relatives dying. 

We are saying again that this should never come back, but we also say thanks to [the government] so much for all that has happened. We ask for all the help that we can get and the assistance that we can get because this disease was really bad. There was no work and kids could not play. It really made it hard and life did not carry on well because this is something that has never happened before. We hope that there is going to be more investment in the diseases, so that we do not have to close everything again. Kids need to go to school, people need to work and things have to be bought, so that the economy and life can get back to normal in general. 

Swahili Transcription

Ndashaka kuvuga kuri Corona. Ntabwo yari yarigeze ibaho mbere kandi ntituzi icyayizanye cyangwa aho yaturutse. Byatunguye abantu kandi bituma ibintu bigorana rwose, nko gufunga amashuri, ahantu abantu bakoreraga n’amaduka arafungwa. Ubukungu bwagize ingaruka kubera ko nta mafaranga, kandi ntitwashoboraga kugura ibiryo. Abantu bagumye murugo, ndetse bamwe bagize ubwoba kuburyo bafunze imiryango burundu. Nabonye abaturanyi bapfuye. Gusa nizere ko itazigera igaruka. Ndasenga Imana ngo itazagaruka, kuko abana bagize ingaruka. Ntabwo bigeze bajya mwishuri kandi ibintu ntabwo byari bimeze. Hariho gahunda zagize ingaruka kandi ntizibe kuko ibiro byari bifunze. Ikindi kandi ibintu ntibyakorwaga kuko abantu batinyaga cyane nuburyo Covid yakwirakwiriye byoroshye. Twasigaye kandi dufite intimba nyinshi kubera inshuti n’abavandimwe bapfa. 

Turongera kuvuga ko ibi bitagomba na rimwe kugaruka, ariko kandi turavuga ngo urakoze cyane kubyabaye byose. Turasaba ubufasha bwose dushobora kubona nubufasha dushobora kubona kuko iyi ndwara yari mbi rwose. Nta kazi kandi abana ntibashoboraga gukina. Byaragoye rwose kandi ubuzima ntibwakomeje neza kuko iki nikintu kitigeze kibaho mbere. Turizera ko hagiye gushora imari nyinshi muri izo ndwara, kugirango tutazongera gufunga ibintu byose. Abana bakeneye kujya mwishuri, abantu bakeneye gukora nibintu bigomba kugurwa, kugirango ubukungu nubuzima bisubire mubisanzwe muri rusange.

Themes:

AudioCare & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationGrief & ChangeMental Health/WellbeingTranslationWork/Unemployment

Medium: Audio

Author: Judith

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

I love to be around my family at all times because they are my support system. I love to sing.

Written Story by J

Back to Stories search

Summer 2021 was a time in the middle of the pandemic where many folks who could and  wanted to get their COVID-19 vaccination for protection, were able to. With a direct line of  communication to the Multnomah County Public Health Department and the Oregon Health  Authority, community members were able to remind folks of our severely ill, at-risk, and  homebound community members who were unable to leave their homes in order to get  vaccinated. Specific teams were assigned to help alleviate these issues, although no 211 staff  understood how this was supposed to work nor that a team even existed to problem solve  these issues.  

All this said, for some of us that were very high risk for COVID-19 complications, due to  anaphylaxis to excipients such as Polyethylene glycol (PEG), Polypropylene glycol (PG),  Polysorbate 80, and other ubiquitous ethoxylated excipients, the risk of dying from anaphylaxis  to the COVID-19 vaccines was a somewhat greater, and more immediate risk than dying from  COVID-19. The issue, however, was that these same excipients that could cause anaphylaxis  from vaccine administration were and also are in all of the available COVID-19 prophylaxis and  COVID-19 therapeutics, except IV Remdesivir. Although the FDA had approved IV Remdesivir’s  use in the outpatient setting, there were zero hospitals and clinics in the entire state of Oregon  that were equipped to provide IV Remdesivir to patients in the outpatient setting.  Allergist/Immunologists couldn’t even access the vaccine for their clinics to give to these  patients in smaller doses to test their tolerance.  

During the extreme heat waves that occurred in July 2021, cooling centers were opened. For  those unable to vaccinate for protection, unable to access COVID-19 prophylaxis, and unable to  access safe-for-them COVID-19 therapeutics should they become infected with COVID-19, going  to a community cooling center to escape the heat, was not a safe option… even when the  temperatures got up to 105 degrees F inside the home. Trying to access cooling equipment  being on OHP Open Card was impossible as there was not a program, like the CCO’s had, for  patients to access cooling equipment, even during one of our deadliest heat waves in history.  

This writing is what came out of this experience.  

July 2021  

Dozens of people died from the heat last week.  

The case manager apologized and said there was nothing they could do. It was either a public  cooling center and the real possibility of COVID-19 or nothing. Choose. There might be a  program that might help you access an air conditioner, but you have the wrong insurance. There  is nothing for you. I’m sorry.  

Sometimes, oftentimes, it feels useless spending every ounce of energy you have fighting  insurance companies, fighting poverty, fighting the racism and ableism that permeates the air,  the same air giving life. 

When it comes down to it, no one really cares whether a person lives or dies, well, until they’re  dead. Then we hear the honorifics, the should haves; but really, if we cared, we wouldn’t build  institutions whose job it is to grind people down. To say no until folks just die.  

There is no happy ending.  

It’s only drudgery, the drudgery of plodding through cold muck in a dark, black cave. The same  cave so many before you trudged through before, are trudging through with you now, but  within their own solitude, into infinity.  

Maybe it’s only when you briefly brush elbows, millions of times, that enough friction is created  to produce heat, a brief glimmer of light. 

Maybe these sparks produce a fire so large so as to burn it all down. All of these stifling systems  that suck the oxygen out of every room in every clinic in every hospital in every region – they  suck the oxygen out of each cell who composes its own part in the symphony that sings an  organism into being. Maybe through destructive fire, and only through that, the phoenix might  be reborn.  

But that would spell hope. And we all know that hope is the traitor, the knife in one’s back.  Besides, fire requires oxygen. So no fire. No phoenix. No rebirth.  

Dozens of people died in the heat last week.

Themes:

AbleismCommunity Connection & IsolationDisability/ImmunocompromisedEssayGrief & ChangeHealth CareIdentity & Social ChangeMental Health/Wellbeing

Medium: Written

Author: J

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Audio Story by Jean

Back to Stories search

English Translation

About during the COVID time, it was a — that time it was hard. We had to stay home, and you — we couldn’t go to school, couldn’t go to work, and we just stay home. So that affected how we lived. Our way to live was hard. So we, so we had not enough money to pay for rent, for food because we are not going to work. So like by myself also got sick. It was not too dangerous, but I got sick. I went to clinic to get — I got sick, but I couldn’t go to the hospital to get the medication because it was not [indistinct]. I just use like a — like a traditional way, like having like a traditional way like of like, um, lemon and like onions, onions and honey. We put all of them together to fight this COVID that was coming to me. So yeah. So also because it was harder to go to work. Yeah. Also, what else? Also COVID — also we couldn’t fly. Yeah, I remember I had in that time I wanted to go to visit my girlfriend who lived in Wisconsin, but at that time I couldn’t go because of COVID, so it was a bad time. Also I heard people died all over the world. I heard the news that other people are dying. Some superstars, people we knew — we knew died. Yeah. Yeah. So many people died. Yeah. So yeah. So that’s all I can say about COVID. But we are so thankful that the pandemic went away, and now we are safe. We are so happy for that. So yeah.

 

Spanish Translation

Con respecto a la época del COVID, fue… fue un tiempo difícil. Teníamos que quedarnos en casa, y… no podíamos ir al escuela, no podíamos ir a trabajar, solamente nos quedábamos en casa. Y eso afectó nuestro modo de vivir. Nuestro modo de vida era difícil. No teníamos dinero suficiente para pagar el alquiler, para la comida, porque no estábamos yendo a trabajar. Y entonces estaba por mi cuenta y también me enfermé. No fue demasiado peligroso, pero me enfermé. Fui a la clínica para buscar… Me enfermé, pero no podía ir al hospital a buscar los medicamentos porque no [interferencia]. Fue como… como un modo tradicional, como tener un modo tradicional, como limón y cebollas, cebollas y miel. Pusimos todo junto para luchar contra este COVID que me estaba atacando. Así que sí. Y también porque era más difícil ir a trabajar. Sí. También, ¿qué más? También el COVID… y no podíamos volar. Sí, me acuerdo que en ese tiempo quería ir a visitar a mi novia que vivía en Wisconsin, pero no podía ir por el COVID, así que fueron tiempos muy malos. También escuché que moría gente en todas partes del mundo. Escuché las noticias de que otras personas estaban muriendo. Algunas superestrellas, personas que conocíamos, murieron. Sí, sí. Tanta gente murió. Sí. Así que sí. Y eso es todo lo que puedo decir acerca del COVID. Pero estamos tan agradecidos porque la pandemia se fue, y que ahora estamos seguros. Estamos tan felices por eso. Así que sí.

Swahili Translation

Mathalani kipindi cha mlipuko wa COVID, kulikuwa — kipindi kile kilikuwa kigumu. Tulibidi kukaa nyumbani, nanyi — hatukuweza kwenda shuleni wala kazini, na tulikaa tu nyumbani. Hivyo hilo liliathiri namna yetu ya kuishi. Maisha yetu yalikuwa magumu. Hivyo, hatukuwa na pesa ya kutosha kulipia kodi wala chakula kwa sababu hatukwenda kazini. Mimi pia niliugua. Hatari haikuwa kubwa sana, hata hivyo niliugua. Nilienda kliniki kupata matibabu — Niliugua, lakini sikuweza kwenda hospitali ili kupata matibabu kwa sababu haikuwa [msikiko hafifu]. Nilitumia tu — njia ya kitamaduni, kama vile kutumia njia ya kitamaduni kama ile ya, eeh, malimao na vitunguu na asali. Tulichanganya vitu hivyo vyote pamoja kupambana na gonjwa hilo la COVID lililokuwa limenikumba. Ndio hivyo. Lakini pia ni kwa sababu ilikuwa ngumu kwenda kufanya kazi. Ndio. Na, nini kingine? Pia kutokana na COVID — hatukuweza pia kusafiri kwa njia ya anga. Ndio, nakumbuka kipindi kile nilitamani kwenda kumtembelea mpenzi wangu aliyekuwa anaishi huko Wisconsin, lakini nilishindwa kutokana na COVID, hivyo mambo yalikuwa mabaya sana kipindi hicho. Pia nilisikia kwamba watu pande zote za dunia walipoteza maisha. Nilisikia kwenye taarifa ya habari kwamba watu walikuwa wanafariki. Baadhi ya watu hao wakiwa watu maarufu, watu tuliokuwa tunawafahamu — tulitaarifiwa kuwa walipoteza maisha. Ndio. Ndio. Watu wengi sana walifariki. Ndio. Ndio hivyo. Hivyo hayo tu ndio ninayoweza kuyasema kuhusiana na COVID. Hata hivyo, tunashukuru kwamba janga hilo kubwa limekwishakupita, na sasa tu salama. Jambo hilo latufurahisha sana. Ndio hivyo.

Themes:

AudioCommunity Connection & IsolationGrief & ChangeWork/Unemployment

Medium: Audio

Author: Jean

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

I love to play football (soccer).

Written Story by Grace

Back to Stories search

A Bunch of Thoughts

As I write I am realizing how hard I have tried to unconsciously forget any of those two years ever happened. Everything is back to normal and everyone is just trying to forget. I know I am. Except giving birth, I cannot recall a single event that happened, all the two years just morphed into this thing of bits and fragments of memories, I like to call it a bunch of thoughts, and a few that often stick in my mind I’ll try to write about. 

They always say whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I have grown to believe ever since Covid-19 was at its peak that that saying doesn’t actually hold any water. Because you can’t convince me the reason me and my loved ones are alive is because we were strong. I holed up in the house as the strongest; doctors, nurses and first responders sacrificed their lives for us. I have failed to see the strength in my actions, that’s why I never got the power to complain or second guess them when they advised against taking walks when I had a three-month-old baby. Because I knew what I’d done wasn’t a show of strength, it was resilience and best. But we all pushed through, I learnt that a day at a time is how you survive when the very things you love and cherish like your life and family are threatened by something you have no control over. You just hope like everything you have endured before; it will come to pass. The promise of time which is never broken.

When my job stopped and I was stuck at home pregnant, it was time I found something else to fill my time. I was raised in a middle to low-income family in Rwanda and fantasies and movies were not how food got to the table. Then here I was with an eternity to do anything but work. I signed up for Netflix for the very first time in my life and this is where another unforgettable memory from those two years came to my life. Through my screen I found art, these stories allowed me to forget my reality and fight batters for causes close to my heart. They allowed me to dream of a life I hadn’t imagined for me and my daughter. For although these stories were fiction, their effect on my life was true. They made me dream of a world of plenty, where I could work and provide the life I had never had for my daughter, I was determined to come to the USA.

Even after the pandemic has passed and everything is back to normal, I don’t think anyone is back to normal and that necessarily isn’t a bad thing. The pandemic was a reminder that as humans, at our best the strongest and smartest have sacrificed their energy and time, sometimes even life so that the frail and weak and vulnerable among us can live to see another day and fulfill their dreams with prejudice. That the world is sometimes kind enough to give the “undeserving” the most chances in life. I hope I learned a thing or two about living, because like everything I described as art in movies, life is beautiful. 

For all its downsides I got a thing or two from covid. The love of my life, my daughter. She is a light in my life of how from fire diamonds are forged, for her I will forever be grateful. The second thing was time, as I took a break, I noticed how time is also a privilege for the few. I worked long hours prior and never got time to reflect about my life, what was important to me, what my loved ones were going through. I spent the 2 years with three of my siblings I hadn’t had time to understand since I was the oldest and time hadn’t been kind enough to give me a chance watch them grow into themselves, I am thankful I no longer share only blood with them, we share a friendship strengthened by blood and for that I will forever be grateful.

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationEssayGrief & ChangeHealth CareInspiration & HopeMental Health/WellbeingWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: Grace

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

I’m Grace, a 29-year-old woman who bravely faced the challenges of giving birth during the Covid-19 pandemic. It was a rollercoaster ride filled with uncertainties and isolation, but I never let it dim my spirit. Despite limited support and the constant worries, I tapped into my inner strength and sought solace in virtual communities. Now, as a proud mother, I am determined to share my story and advocate for the needs of other mothers who have experienced similar challenges. Together, we can inspire resilience and overcome any obstacle that comes our way.

Written Story by F.I. Goldhaber

Back to Stories search

Eugenics

First published in The Trick Is To Keep Breathing and What Color is Your Privilege?
September, 2022 

She said the quiet part out loud,
people “unwell to begin with”
don’t deserve to live. Just like the
poor, the Black, the Indigenous,
the immigrants, the Queers, the Trans.

Because once they figured out most
victims were marginalized, had
comorbidities, were “others”,
the fight to eliminate the
virus succumbed to the battle
to save the economy god.
in the name of the Profit you
must sacrifice the grandparents,
disabled veterans, nannys’
children, baristas’ mothers, clerks
at the corner stores, restaurant
servers, health care workers, drivers
bringing groceries, carry out.

The U.S. already makes clear
who is not wanted, including
those with disabilities, pre-
existing conditions, other
gods, languages, and cultural
traditions. No skin tones kissed with
melanin or “natural” hair.

Disposable collateral,
oblations necessary to
avoid missing brunch, a concert,
a chance to go out dancing or
cheer for the home team at a pub.
Millions already dead, millions
more permanently disabled to
ensure the privileged’s comfort,
the corporations’ bottom lines,
billionaires’ stock portfolios.

As we tumble into Nazi
sovereignty it’s worth reminding
those gambling with their own health and
risking the lives of others, that
among the first slaughtered in the
German Holocaust were those who’re
disabled by the “Spanish” flu.

 

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationDisability/ImmunocompromisedGrief & ChangeHealth CareIdentity & Social ChangePoetryWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: F.I. Goldhaber

Date Submitted: November 28, 2023

Bio:

F.I. Goldhaber’s words capture people, places, and politics with a photographer’s eye and a poet’s soul. Paper, plastic, electronic, and audio magazines, books, newspapers, calendars, broadsides, and street signs display their poetry, fiction, and essays. Left Fork press published — 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒔 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒆? — their collection of political statements in poetic form — in September, 2022. http://www.goldhaber.net/

Written Story by F.I. Goldhaber

Back to Stories search

Normal Life 

First Published, August 2020, in CHAOS: The Poetry Vortex

You have a nice home to shelter in,
food to eat, shows to stream, games to play.

You don’t live with an abuser or
parents who misgender you; insist
your orientation is sinful.

Yet you complain you’re deprived of your
social life, restaurants, bars, park visits.

You don’t need to risk your life and your
loved ones for minimum wage
without protection, sick leave, health care.

You’ve enough to pay your bills; credit
cards to order online; connected
devices allowing well-paid work.

But you miss the ball games, parties,
band performances, church services.

You don’t shiver in the cold, snow, and
rain under a tent if you’re lucky,
or just a cardboard box, or blanket.

If your throat is sore, your head feels hot,
you can telephone your physician.

You don’t have to stand in line for a
clinic that sends you home when they run
out of test kits. Or just keep working.

You know what the virus looks like,
how to prevent exposure and illness.

You don’t toil next to those who could be
infected with no information
how, or supplies, to protect yourself.

You fret about event and concert
cancellations, missed graduations.

You don’t worry about untreated
broken bones; forced sex without access
to birth control; deadly pregnancy.

The only people desperate for
life to return to normal are those
privileged to enjoy “normal” life.

 

Themes:

Care & COVID 19Community Connection & IsolationDisability/ImmunocompromisedGrief & ChangeHealth CareIdentity & Social ChangePoetryWork/Unemployment

Medium: Written

Author: F.I. Goldhaber

Date Submitted: November 27, 2023

Bio:

F.I. Goldhaber’s words capture people, places, and politics with a photographer’s eye and a poet’s soul. Paper, plastic, electronic, and audio magazines, books, newspapers, calendars, broadsides, and street signs display their poetry, fiction, and essays. Left Fork press published — 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒔 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝑷𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒆? — their collection of political statements in poetic form — in September, 2022. http://www.goldhaber.net/